请帮忙对比两个句子。。急。

小明

请看这两个句子哪种表达方式比较好，没有错误。

不知道这样写对与否。

请帮忙对比两个句子

The deposits of my sp##被过滤##or, ******, who is my mother transferred from stocks with Guaranteed Amount Transfer Voucher of Shenzhen Petrochemical Industry (Group) Co.Ltd. withdrew RMB24,950 to the bank Account (Bank of China, Shenzhen Branch Savings Deposit Account Passbook , A/c No.476691201880155689)

2. The deposits of my sp##被过滤##or, ******, who is my mother withdrew RMB24,950 from stocks with Guaranteed Amount Transfer Voucher of Shenzhen Petrochemical Industry (Group) Co.Ltd. to the bank Account (Bank of China, Shenzhen Branch Savings Deposit Account Passbook , A/c No.476691201880155689)

sparkran

时态错了吧！DEPOSITED

我觉得第二种表达清楚些！

还有，是不是你妈把股票卖掉后，将钱存入银行？还是直接从资金帐户中转出？炒股的都是两个帐户，一个是股票帐户，一个是资金帐户，现金只能从资金帐户中通过证券公司指定的银行转出。

小明

my mother,***, will be my sp##被过滤##or. She withdrew RMB24,950 from sales of stocks and deposit its to the bank account (Bank of China, Shenzhen Branch Savings Deposit Account Passbook , A/c No.476691201880155689) and withdrew RMB 35,000 from sales of stocks and deposit its to the bank Account (Agricultural Bank of China Shenzhen NanXin Road Branch Savings Deposit Account Passbook, A/c No.635840135010207104), and then from that account to this Time Deposit Account Passbook.

我想表达的是，我妈妈从股票里转出24950 和35000 ，然后分别存入这个两个存折，然后再一起转到现在这个存折。。。。。

我这句子能表达清楚吗？？？

小明

现金是从资金帐户中通过证券公司指定的银行转出的，是不是下面这句话体现不出来。。。。

my mother,***, will be my sp##被过滤##or. She withdrew RMB24,950 from sales of stocks and deposit its to the bank account (Bank of China, Shenzhen Branch Savings Deposit Account Pas**ook , A/c No.476691201880155689) and withdrew RMB 35,000 from sales of stocks and deposit its to the bank Account (Agricultural Bank of China Shenzhen NanXin Road Branch Savings Deposit Account Pas**ook, A/c No.635840135010207104), and then from that account to this Time Deposit Account Pas**ook.