个人陈述写作中最忌的六大类开头

kevin_rain

       如今，英国大学2014年入学申请拉开帷幕，对于英国留学申请，个人陈述是申请文书中的关键材料，因此各位申请人，尤其是DIY学生，在个人陈述写作中，同学们一定要避免以下六大类开头：

1、重复简历型
       I earned my Bachelor of Science degree in … Sciences with a specialization in … in 2012 at … university, which provided me with a profound background in atmospheric science. During this period, I received Outstanding Student Scholarship for my excellent performance in the academic field. I found that …is abstruse and interested, and there are so many things I did not understand. Thus I decided to learn more.

       个人陈述中不要去重复简历上的东西，这在很多学校的PS要求中有明确提到，个人陈述的写作要具体到事件上，事件解决上，而不是单纯地重复已有的内容。

2、学校介绍型
       I am an undergraduate in…University , the largest university anda cradle of scientific and technological talents in China. (…… University is a prestigious university of general education with 20 departments and a regular annual enrollment of 8,000 students ) I studied at ……(E. E) Department, ahighly selective department with a gathering of smart students who are hard to compete with.

       该同学的开头等于是一个申请学校的简介，这好像是在帮学校做宣传，或表达你有多了解该学校，而不是写个人陈述了。这是没有意义的开头，白白浪费了字数，最容易被秒拒掉。

3、抄袭句式型
       As a student majoring in Computer Science, I began my odyssey since Ientered undergraduate program. Indeed, having entered this splendid computer world, I am more than greedy for something new.

       Odyssey 和more than greedy for something new 这种句式不知道是从哪里学到的，很多同学有用过。但同学们要知道，老外最恨抄袭，最喜欢原创，所以利害关系大家想想吧！

4、救世主型
       I am a problem solver. I have an impulse as a kind of instincts to solvevarious problems before me and enjoy doing that. Since I was a little boy, a voice from President Franklin Roosevelt has constantly hovered around my mind, "The world can be changed by man's endeavor, … He must ever be receptive and sensitive to the new; and have sufficient courage and skill to novel facts and to deal with them." And I have been longing to be the man to face and solve novel problems.

       一副救世主的形象，小时候就受富兰克林的影响，立志改变世界。个人陈述的写作一定要个人化、具体化，别吹牛，甚至带一种霸权主义思维。

5、犹抱琵琶型
       Making a right decision at the right time is very important for a young people .At present, I have come to a critical point in my life when I have to make a decision concerning my future course of action. Only a perceptive understanding of oneself will enable one to chart his proper action. Aftercarefully thinking, reviewing my life and analyzing my personality, I make the determination and choose to apply for graduate study in XXX. And I choose to specialize in communications which I will pursue a lifelong career.

       重点放在自己要做的重大决定上了，人生的转折点，然后写上几句所谓名言警句。浪费字数，有限的字数里，同学们应该学会直接，并且抓住重点，突出自己最有优势的方面、最有特色的方面。

6、言语幼稚型
       'Why the gecko can climb on the wall while we can't-' 'Why the leaves turn red in autumn' 'How many stars are there in the sky-' When I was in childhood, I always kept asking my mom all kinds of questions。I am especially interested in how things work, I can even take apart things for several hours in order to find out its principle. So most of the things in my family has been takenapart by me, from my father's shaver to my mom' motorcycle. I can even fix somesimple households, listened to other people's praise, to learn science well became my dream and felt the science will accompany with me in my whole life.

       一上来就回忆童年、少年时，自己有着怎样的远大抱负，谁在乎。个人陈述字数有限，却用那么多话描述童年，没有任何意义。学校想知道你如何看待未来，而不是如何度过过去。