十万火急我的推荐信请高手马上帮忙看一下改改

utopia-lon · 发表于 2003-7-23 09:48

十万火急我的推荐信请高手马上帮忙看一下改改
很急的文章找人写推荐信结果人家说我写的太烂请高人指点一下！
帮改改，马上需要谢谢！

Dear Sir or Madam:

I take great pleasure in recommending Mr. Zhao Xin Ming , Who worked as an intern in our firm, for admission into your distinguished graduate program .
Mr. Zhao was admitted into our firm as an intern at April ,2003 .During his working months ,What impressed me most is his great enthusiasm in architecture that he can concentrate on projects for such a long time .His work is full of creativity ,which combines the city context with environment very well. He is quite familiar with ancient Chinese Architecture and has been paying much attention to the update information of Architecture worldwidely which endows his work with the spirit of Chinese culture and the soluti##被过滤## to the modern industry and life .He accentuates the perception of the human being through expediency architecture, and the latter's long-lasting influence upon the former as well .In a word ,he can apply what he has learned into practice.
In my expercience with Mr zhao ,his work gains not only my satisfaction but all the colleague's appreciation .
So I would like to support him firmly in his quest recommendation into account when c##被过滤##idering his application .I would greatly appreciate it you decide to accept him as he wishes .

请班主三天后删去此帖谢谢！

falcon · 发表于 2003-7-26 09:28

大家一起来看看啊！
别老是都我一个人
单打独斗

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-7-26 09:32

好多拼写错误。。。

falcon · 发表于 2003-7-26 09:34

主要是看他的整体结构和语法的搭配对不对！

elsiechz · 发表于 2003-7-26 09:37

哎~~~偶的也被表姐批评说写的太泛泛。。所以也只能帮他看看表面咯！

eatingfish · 发表于 2003-7-27 22:23

好像没有什么特点，不过我的写得也很烂，什么时候找出来给大家看看。

nmet · 发表于 2003-7-28 23:16

似曾相识~

piaopiao · 发表于 2003-8-7 21:45

好象比较泛泛,特点看不出来~~

cradle · 发表于 2003-8-12 06:14

虽然我也还很菜在申请这方面但是我读起来也觉得不是很好
写得很中文的感觉也有点空空的

再加油吧

[此贴子已经被作者于2003-8-11 22:15:23编辑过]

azhuzhu · 发表于 2003-8-12 07:06

I am highly recommend ** to your university...
这是偶一老外写的推荐信的最后一句。。。。霍霍

asi · 发表于 2003-12-2 05:21

我x,帮我也看一下好不Dear sir/Madam:
In the capacity of recent department head of “environmental engineering subject” which is a subject of “chemistry and life science college” of south-center university for nationalities(SCUEC),I am writing with pleasure to recommend Mr. Yuan to your esteemed university.
I got to know his personality when he was taking the course---environmental impact assessment, a course I taught, concerning typical methods, especially the modern approach to assess the pollution. Mr. Yuan indicated his aptitude and capacity for analyzing thinking on this course, similarily, he got 90 on this subject, which is a real high score and inevitably be among the top 5 in the class. Additionally, as a student  minoring in business administration, I have known that he is interested in environmental management. As a c##被过滤##equence, he got 80 in this course. The reason for me being unforgettable of this detailed thing is his essay called “the combination of chinese typical urban water saving projects with germany projects”. There appeared many creative ideas in this paper. Nevertheless, due to another major that he should deal with, less time could be used on the major compared with other students. Inevitably, the anverage results for Mr.Yuan is not so high, nevertheless, he may be a more competitive graduator for his 2 majors.
To my knowledge, Mr.Yuan could communicative with others in english fluently, when there are foreign professors coming to our college for speech or research, he always take participate in actively. Although there maybe some academic barrier for him to communicative with them for the difference on the academic background, it is no denied that he could maintain harmony in daily communication in English. Therefore, it shocked me that he only got 5.5 in his first IELTS examination, I do believe that he should got no less than 6.5 in my opinion. The reason he told me is nervous and few time for preparation.
As I know, Mr.Yuan is not only taking the concentration on academics, but also in arts and several social activities. Actually, he is the captain on arts for our college(院文艺部长) charge of organizing varied activities as well as the manager of students’ daily routin for our college(组织部长). Morever, being good at Chinese traditional dancing, classical guitar, he is also a vital number of the artists association of SCUEC(校艺术团)，which organization is famous for the minority performance. The main attraction for his work during the passed 3 years may be the performance for the  celebration for the 50th birthday of SCUEC in 2001, his participation in Chinese new artists match in 2002(全国演艺界新人大赛). Besides these activities, he usually work as a bee for the students’ and public profit for nothing. As I know, he is believed employable on his work, other teachers and students praise him cooperative, got the sense of resp##被过滤##ibility and the ability to work independently.
After being the dean of “environmental engineering subject”, he is the most attractive student to my part and I am glad to see he proved his outstanding capability in both lab and study field. Therefore I feel very delighted when he told me he would like to pursue his advanced studies in your honored program. I am confident that Mr. Yuan will contribute greatly to your program as well as he did in the SCUEC and he will probably success as a postgraduate student. Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need more information.